A Balanced Life is Non-Existent.
Janet is a hard working woman, both at home and her career. When she and John married 13 years ago, the goals they had were much like young couples throughout the entire country. Get established in a career, buy a home and start a family.
Today, they have bought that home and started the family. They have three children, ages 4 - 10. Their careers have had their ups and downs. Janet works full time as a Senior Account Executive with a Media Company. She is doing very well.
If you ask her about the hours she works, she will tell you Monday - Friday from 8am - 5pm. However, she will also tell you that to do her job successfully and achieve the position she has today, she can’t view it as a 8-5 job.
Janet and John are having some friends over for dinner tonight. During dinner, Janet gets a call that she recognizes as a key client and she needs to take the call. She excuses herself for 7 minutes and when she comes back to the table, one of her friends says,
“Your life is out of balance”. Is her friend correct?
What is a balanced life?
Simply put,
A balanced life means making time for the things you have to do, as well as the things you want to do.
Who can answer these personal questions for you?
What things do you have to do?
What things do you want to do?
Sadhguru, an Indian yogi and author, reminds us that,
“There is no such thing as work-life balance. It is all life. The balance has to be within you.”
I love Sadhguru’s quote because it addresses the reality of our lives.
Many of the so-called experts that weigh in on a balanced life want us to categorize our life. Their advice is to make a definitive separation in 6 - 7 different areas of our lives. Then they make the rules about how much time should be spent in each area.
The reality that I reference when citing Sadhguru’s quote is that most of the areas of our lives are inseparable. But way too uninvolved and uninformed people make many assumptions.
If you spend a lot of hours working:
Should it be assumed that you are stressed?
Should it be assumed that you are neglecting your family?
Is the time spent unnecessary?
If you spend a lot of time at home with your family:
Should it be assumed you aren’t stressed?
Should it be assumed that you are not successful in business?
Should it be assumed that you aren’t driven?
This statement came from a highly respected, very well known medical organization:
“Once upon a time the boundaries between work and home were fairly clear. Today, however, work is likely to invade your personal life — and maintaining work-life balance is no simple task.”
That statement is absolutely not true. The reference to -once upon a time boundaries between work and life were much clearer- is false. In the early 1900s many people worked on farms. The boundaries between personal and work life were definitely not clear then, in fact more than any other time in history the line of separation was nonexistent.
Is an Unbalanced Life Harmful?
Having a balanced life is a topic of interest currently in our society.
Mental health professionals and some personal development gurus are advising that you should not let the business or career part of your life take up more of your life than your personal and family portion does. If so, you are out of balance & that isn’t good.
There is no disputing the fact that not spending the time in areas of your life that require time can cause some very damaging issues.
We know that relationships of all kinds require time. Family relationships especially require time and there is no substitute for it. Children need their parents, and they need their undivided attention. Parents need to devote time to their families. The things that you put your time into are clearly a priority to you.
If you care about your family and you are the provider for your family, then the time you spend working is because of the love and care you have for your family.
Time will always be about priorities. You must prioritize your time according to what you care about.
Reality: Balancing Life in 2022
Living in the US requires income, a lot of income in some locations. Today the housing market is booming. If you get ready to buy a home, don’t think you are going to negotiate the price. You won’t have a chance unless you want to offer more than the asking price. Now, interest rates are going up, so mortgage payments will increase.
Inflation is affecting everything that you can think of. Have you bought groceries or went out to eat lately? https://tradingeconomics.com/united-states/inflation-cpi
So, if you tell the income earners in a family that they need to get some balance in their life. That they don’t need to spend so many hours working. To be fair, you need to also tell them where they need to cut their standard of living if they are going to cut their hours, especially if they own their own business or have an incentive laden compensation plan.
This subject requires perspective and context, and many people don’t understand these two words. Before you wave a broad brush over everyone, and arbitrarily declare that you need to balance out your life, as if the choice is theirs. You need to get some context. You need to understand that everyone’s situation is different. If you don’t, it becomes very exasperating to that family where the income earners are doing what they think is best trying to provide for their family and they are giving that responsibility everything they’ve got.
Prioritize Rather Than Balance
It’s impossible to find or achieve a perfect balance. The different aspects of our life either work or personal, will always take more time than the other. What's more, living in a fast paced world where technology is at our fingertips makes it harder to achieve a work life balance.
Having a balanced life means creating time for the things you have to do, as well as the things you like to do. Be it work, family, eating healthy and being fit or taking care of your spirituality. It takes commitment and responsibility to find time daily, or weekly, to participate in each activity.
Nimmo Mukami wrote,
“Life is not a straight line whereby you can do 50/50; it's a continuous curve that we allow the benefit of doubt with no knowledge of what lies ahead. In reality, life is one thing after another. Which means from moment to moment the focus of balance is always going to be different.”
That change of focus is where the importance of setting priorities takes over.
When we discuss priorities, there are many,
Personal & Family
Spiritual
Work & Business
Hobbies
Recreation
Fitness & Health
It is especially important to decide what you want.
What are your goals?
Establish your priorities.
You can have a wonderful family life and a massively successful business. It will require participation, understanding and planning from all of those involved. It will require all to be involved in the commitment to priorities.
Conclusion
Is Janet’s friend correct about her life being out of balance?
Who can define a balanced life for you?
Janet would say that her life is prioritized and that’s how they live. It requires sacrifice on all of their parts from time to time. One thing that is true is that the time required for different areas changes. But, as long as they keep their priorities in the forefront, it is not hard for them to adapt to the changes.
No one but Janet and her family can define what is balanced or not about their life. The same is true for all of us. The goal with our lives should be to prioritize instead of balance them. That is what is actually realistic and achievable.
Expect to Win.
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